Seasonal Outbreak

Kyra Adams, Satirical Columnist

It’s the beginning of second semester, and that means its Laxidasical Procrastinence season. Make sure you do your best to avoid contracting this extremely contagious disease that plagues schools across the nation during the last stretch of the year. Laxidasical Procrastience is often referred to as “Senioritis” because it has the greatest impact on a demographic of 17 to 18 year olds reaching the end of their public school careers.

Senioritis has been around for as long as the creation of the institution. It is speculated that the original cause was due to the monotonous routine imposed on children for roughly 12 years straight, with the severity of each individual case depending on how much time was spent with the same people in the same place doing the same thing. Over time, the widely adopted theory states it’s merely the lethargic nature of the age group that produces this tragic phenomena. Laxidasical Procrastinence spreads through social media, college applications, and even the classrooms themselves. “I was diagnosed second semester of my junior year,” says Senior Joyce Jalata, “and it was the workload that really did me in.” Her classmate Ray Contreras contracted Senioritis his freshman year.

The incubation period, the time between infection and showing symptoms, is generally between ages 14 and 17. Symptoms include procrastination, lack of willpower, lack of sleep, anxiety, excessive or lessened eating habits, and other symptoms that vary case to case. Sometimes these symptoms make themselves known before an official diagnosis, but are often dismissed, as these reactions are natural after constant exposure to stressful environments. Students have reported that a busy schedule imposed by “responsibility” is a huge contributor.

Although this is one of the most common ailments, there is a cure. The most common and effective treatment for fighting Senioritis is reality. “I realized that even though I made it into college, I still needed to keep my grades up for next year.” says senior Josue Mateo, “Reality is the vaccine.”

In order to prevent the spread of Senioritis, it helps to not jump ahead too far. High school, as cliché as it is, holds some of the most important moments that will serve us for the rest of our lives. What is coming will come, and you owe it to yourself to finish strong. Prioritize, remain realistic, and enjoy being a high school student while you can. This is it.